


Barry Allen's day of reckoning

by Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen



Category: Last Man Standing (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Barry Allen-centric, Character Study, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Episode: s03e09 The Present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26714026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen/pseuds/Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen
Summary: Barry thought his high school reunion would be a horrible experience that he would have to soldier through. Instead, an old friend long gone appears to help show him the way, allowing Barry to face his past once and for all.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Caitlin Snow, Barry Allen & Eddie Thawne, Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow
Comments: 55
Kudos: 45





	1. The reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea that popped into my head after rewatching Smallville. This won’t be a long story, it shouldn’t be more than four or five chapters, but it may have a sequel at some point down the line. I say might because I am not sure about that yet.
> 
> For timeline wise, this takes place at some point after 3x09 but before 3x10.

Barry Allen’s apartment  
Morning

Barry was writing, trying to remember everything he had seen in his trip to the future, where he had seen Savitar kill Iris. He was so focused on what he was doing he didn’t hear someone walk up behind him. 

“What’s that?” 

Barry almost jumped, quickly hiding the list as he whirled around. Caitlin was standing behind him, looking at him suspiciously. Before Barry can even form a response, he noticed that Caitlin was dressed like she was going somewhere. She was wearing a yellow dress that highlighted her figure excellently with matching high heels and some blue earrings.

“Nothing, just something I’ve been trying to figure out lately,” Barry said, clearing his throat. “You look nice. Got a date or something?”

“Don’t you remember?” Caitlin asked and only got a blank look in response. “Your ten year reunion?”

“That’s today?” Caitlin nodded at Barry’s surprised exclamation. 

The invitation to his and Iris’ ten year high school reunion had come not long after the Dominator Invasion. Barry had not wanted to go, as high school had never been a pleasant experience for him, but had reluctantly agreed when he saw how excited Iris was. However, a few weeks prior, Iris had been assigned to a press conference she couldn’t get out of. She insisted Barry should still go without her, not noticing that Barry would rather skip out on the whole thing. Taking pity on Barry, Caitlin had offered to be his plus one to make it easier on him, which Barry had readily accepted.

“I know you don’t want to go, but you promised Iris,” Caitlin said, breaking Barry out of his thoughts. “So, are you gonna get dressed or did I buy a new dress for nothing?”

“Alright, alright,” Barry said with a sigh, giving in. “Give me a minute.”

Barry sped off before returning a few moments later dressed in a black shirt, matching jacket, some blue jeans and tennis shoes. Barry had also showered, combed his hair and shaved three days’ worth of stubble off his face. Caitlin fought a blush as she looked him up and down.

“You look nice,” Caitlin managed once she could form words.

“You don’t look too bad yourself Dr. Snow,” Barry managed a smile as he walked to the door, offering her his arm. “Shall we?”

Caitlin smiled, taking his offered arm and walking out the door with him. As he closed the door behind him, Barry thought that maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Central City High School  
Afternoon

That naïve thought had lasted all of one hour, Barry thought as he and Caitlin got out of Caitlin’s car. As they walked up the steps of his former high school, Barry saw several of his former classmates eying him. He could see the pity in their eyes and fought the sigh of irritation that threatened to burst out of him. No doubt they had heard about his dad. Looks like after four years of making his life Hell over his dad, they now had an excuse to feel guilty. The only thing stopping him from turning around and going home was Caitlin’s presence by his side. So Barry plastered on a fake smile and walked up those steps. Almost immediately, he encountered someone he wished to avoid.

“Barry,” a man with blonde hair, receding, and blue eyes said as he approached Barry.

“Greg,” Barry said neutrally, accepting the man’s handshake. 

Greg Archer had been the quarterback at the high school when Barry and Iris had started at school. He’s also been one of Barry’s chief tormenters during those four years. He was one of those good jock, poor student types. The only reason he’d even graduated was by having tutors do his homework with promises of dates. 

Since high school, he’s let himself go. His dreams of playing In the NFL didn’t seem to have gone anywhere, judging by the potbelly he was sporting. His once full head of hair was receding. Barry guessed that bribing his way through school hadn’t worked out that well for Greg.

“So how you been Allen?” Greg asked as they dropped hands.

“Okay,” Barry said evasively, well aware of Caitlin looking back and forth between them, knowing she had picked up on how tense he was. “This is my friend, Caitlin Snow.”

“Nice to meet you,” Caitlin smiled politely, even as her skin crawled when Greg’s gaze turned hungry as he saw her.

“You to. So, you two a thing?” Greg asked pointedly.

“You know Caitlin, have you ever seen the school paper? We really need to show you some of my old articles,” Barry said hurriedly as he grabbed Caitlin’s hand and began rushing up the stairs.

“Old bully?” Caitlin asked once they were out of Greg’s hearing range.

“You have no idea,” Barry muttered.

Unseen to them, a man was watching them from the streets, his eyes fixated on Barry.

Inside, Barry and Caitlin were in line to get Barry’s name tag. As they reached the table, they saw a dark haired woman sitting at the table. As she saw Barry, she gasped, getting to her feet.

“Barry? Barry Allen?” she said and Barry looked at her blankly. “It’s me, Mandy.”

“Mandy Baxter?” Barry said in disbelief.

“It’s Anderson now, I’m married,” Mandy said as she walked out from behind the table to give Barry a hug. 

“Congratulations,” Barry said, returning the hug before she pulled back. “You look…wow.”

“Forget about me, look at you. What happened to the nerd I used to know?” she teased and Barry chuckled. 

“Still a nerd,” Barry said before looking over at Caitlin, who was watching them carefully. “Cait, this is Mandy, an old friend. Mandy, this is Caitlin Snow, my plus one.”

“Nice to meet you,” Mandy said excitedly as she shook Caitlin’s hand. “So are you two together?”

“No, we’re just friends,” Caitlin said with a raised eyebrow, wondering how Barry could have been friends with Mandy.

“Well, that’s a shame. He’s a catch,” Mandy said with a quirk of an eyebrow before handing Barry his name tag. “We should catch up before this is over Barry.”

“Yeah, we should,” Barry agreed as he took his name tag. “See you around Mandy.”

Mandy nodded as she sat back down, getting to the next person in line as Barry and Caitlin walked off.

“So, who was that?” Caitlin asked Barry and he laughed.

“Mandy Baxter. She was…probably my only friend in this place besides Iris,” Barry admitted. “When I was a sophomore, I was dating this girl, Becky Cooper. It didn’t end well. Her friends spread this rumor around that I had some disease, so I pretty much became the school pariah. Mandy was one of the few people who didn’t buy it. She actually listened when I told her about the impossible. She managed to get Becky and her friends back by spreading this rumor that Becky was secretly seeing the gym teacher. Mandy was one of the popular girls but she was never really shallow. She could actually be pretty smart and kind once you got to know her.”

Barry stopped in front of a door and Caitlin looked at him oddly.

“I know it was just an excuse, but do you want to see the school paper?” Barry said as he gestured to the room.

With a laugh, Caitlin walked over and opened the door. They stepped inside and Barry looked around, nostalgia filling him. It was exactly as he remembered: five computers, posters and newspaper clipping on the walls as far as the eye could see. If he closed his eyes, he could just imagine that he was sixteen again.

“So you spent a lot of time here?” Caitlin asked as she walked around.

“I kind of ran the paper for a while,” Barry explained and Caitlin looked interested. “No one was really interested so I gave a pitch to the principle. This was where my blog kind of started.”

“Oh my God!” Barry and Caitlin whirled around to see a young man in the doorway, looking in awe. “You’re Barry Allen!”

“Yeah?” Barry said confused.

“You are a legend around here! You completely revolutionized the school paper!” the young man said, rushing over to Barry and shaking his hand, Barry only able to understand him because of being a speedster. “It’s because of you that this room still exists. Check this out.”

The kid dropped Barry’s hand and pulled out his phone. 

“I’ve taken the paper viral,” the young teen said excitedly as he showed Barry a web page of an article on the Flash.

“The Flash,” Barry said uncomfortably.

“Yeah man, he’s the biggest news in Central City. Hey, you think maybe I could interview you? If you have time, it would really be a huge favor,” the young man said excitedly. 

“Maybe later,” Barry said with a tight smile.

Later, Barry and Caitlin were walking through the hallway, Barry lost in thought as Caitlin watched him in concern.

“Barry, what’s going on?” Caitlin said and he was quiet for a moment.

“I don’t want that kid to publish an article on me. I mean, it’s one thing for the local news to do it. But…I’m not a God, you know that. I don’t want these kids to look up to me like I am,” Barry said tiredly.

“If someone could have given you hope, that there was the impossible when you were his age, wouldn’t you?” Caitlin asked, confused by his reaction.

“There’s a difference between hope and blind faith. There are some things even I can’t stop,” Barry said, thinking of Savitar killing iris.

Caitlin opened her mouth, likely to ask what he was talking about, but froze. Literally, time seemed to stop. Barry looked around, seeing everyone and everything had stopped moving. Barry was a speedster; he was used to time moving slower. But this, this was different. Something was wrong.

Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned around. His eyes widened at who he saw.

“Oh my God,” Barry breathed.

“Sorry to interrupt this trip down memory lane, but we need to talk Barry,” Eddie Thawne said with a smile.


	2. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie explains how he is still alive before showing Barry past and present mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly was not expecting such a positive response to this. I’m glad so many of you seem to like it, here’s the next chapter.

Central City High School  
Afternoon

“Eddie?” Barry breathed as he stared at his old friend.

“Hey Barry,” Eddie greeted like it was just an ordinary day at work.

“You-you died,” Barry said in disbelief.

“I did,” Eddie confirmed with a nod. 

“So, what? You’re a ghost?” Barry asked incredulously. 

“Not exactly. But that’s a story for somewhere a little less…crowded,” Eddie said with a look at the frozen civilians.

In a flash of blinding light, Eddie and Barry both vanished. Once they were gone, time seemed to unfreeze. The people started moving again and Caitlin started to say something. However, Caitlin paused as she saw Barry was no longer standing in front of her.

“Barry? Barry?” Caitlin asked as she whirled around, looking for him.

Several miles from the school, in a park, Barry and Eddie appeared in a flash of light. Barry looked around wildly in confusion before it dawned on him.

“You, you stopped time. And you teleported us here,” Barry said and Eddie only smiled. “What happened to you Eddie?”

“When you opened the singularity, my body was pulled through time and space. I ended up in the thirty first century, at the headquarters of the Legion,” Eddie explained.

“The Legion?” Barry repeated.

“A group of heroes inspired by you and Oliver Queen, in the age of heroes that you two will start,” Eddie explained as Barry stared at him in disbelief. “But that’s neither here or now. They froze my body cryogenically while they cloned me a new heart. If they’d acted any later, I would not be standing here right now.”

“So you’ve been trapped in the future all this time?” Barry asked, confused by Eddie’s smile.

“Not exactly,” Eddie said as he showed Barry his hand, which sported a gold ring with an L emblem on it. “I chose to remain in the future, to join the Legion.”

“Why? You had Iris, a job…it was because of me, wasn’t it?” Barry realized with a sinking feeling. “Because of the byline.”

“Yes and no,” Eddie admitted, confusing Barry. “Once I knew you were all okay, I had some time to think before I made my decision. I was always in someone else’s shadow. In Keystone it was my dad’s or granddad’s. In Central City, it was Joe’s shadow or yours. I had a chance at a fresh start, to be my own man, and I took it. I know what you’re thinking, but you didn’t destroy my life Barry. You saved it. And now I’m going to do the same for you.”

“What are you talking about?” Barry asked confused.

“My time in the future allowed me to read up on Eobard, learn what made him become the Reverse Flash. And the more I dug, the more I realized…the two of you aren’t that different,” Eddie said and Barry tensed.

“I am nothing like him,” Barry sneered.

“Really? Before he became the Reverse Flash, Eobard was a scientist. Respected, gifted, someone who only wanted to help people and happened to develop superpowers. Sound familiar Barry?” Eddie asked pointedly.

“He murdered my mother,” Barry said coldly. “Harrison Wells, Simon Stagg, and so many others. He unleashed Grodd on the world; intentionally sabotaged the Particle Accelerator, knowing what it would do the people in this city all to give me my powers so he could go home. I make mistakes but nothing I’ve done will ever compare to what he’s done.”

“That’s true,” Eddie acknowledged. “But that doesn’t mean you’re immune to corruption, to darkness.”

“Okay, I’m gonna ask you again, what are you talking about Eddie?” Barry asked, his patience beginning to wear thin.

“You’ve always felt it, haven’t you? Everyone thinks you’re this big ball of light, but you never let them see the darkness you hold in your heart,” Eddie said knowing.

“So what, I have a dark side. Who doesn’t? That doesn’t make me a bad person,” Barry snapped.

“That’s exactly what Eobard thought at first to. But all too soon, his darkness consumed him,” Eddie said as he turned away from Barry. “It only took one moment to turn Eobard from a good man into the monster who murdered your mother. For him, it was finding out that he was destined to become your greatest enemy. One moment. But that’s all it took.”

With a flash of light, Barry and Eddie were no longer in the park. They were in a house, watching a scene that was very familiar to Barry. He paled as he watched his mother scream, Thawne looming over her with a knife. He turned away, unable to watch as Thawne drove the knife through her chest.

“Why are you showing me this? I don’t wanna see this,” Barry said as he turned away, trying to block it out.

“Because this is a defining moment in your life, maybe the one moment that defines your entire life,” Eddie said and Barry looked at him confused. “You blame yourself, still.”

“Well it’s my fault,” Barry said lowly.

“That’s funny, I don’t recall seeing you stab her in the heart,” Eddie said dryly.

“Thawne came back to kill me and, when he couldn’t, he killed her instead. And so I saved her. But then I had to set things back the way they were, so I let Thawne kill her again,” Barry ranted and it was silent for a moment.

“The key phase that keeps popping up is ‘he killed her’. Not you, him,” Eddie pointed out and Barry looked at him tiredly. “It was Eobard’s choice to kill her, not yours. You can’t change that, you can’t stop it. Eobard is the architect of this tragedy, not you. He didn’t have to become your enemy; he could have chosen another path. But he chose the role of the villain and he embraced it, just as you’ve embraced being the Flash. We are all responsible for our own choices Barry.”

Barry frowned, considering Eddie’s words before, with another flash of light, the scene changed. Now they were in a cemetery.

“What, another memory?” Barry said sarcastically. 

“No,” Eddie said simply, pointing a few feet from them.

Barry followed his finger. Cisco was approaching, holding a single rose. Confused, Barry watched as he stopped at a grave close to them. Curiously, Barry walked over as Cisco laid the rose at the grave. Looking at the headstone, Barry felt like he’d been doused with cold water.

‘Dante Ramon

Beloved son and brother’

“Happy Birthday Dante,” Cisco said softly.

“This isn’t a memory…this is the present,” Barry said with a shaky breath and Eddie simply nodded. “Look, Cisco and I already made our peace over what happened to Dante, so I’m sure what the point of bringing me here was.”

“Did you know that today was Dante’s birthday? Or that Cisco comes here once every two weeks?” Eddie asked simply and Barry opened and closed his mouth but no sound came out. “Cisco suffered a great loss, something you can relate to. He’s struggling to cope with it.”

“What am I supposed to do about this? I can’t bring back Dante, I’m not a god,” Barry argued. 

“Be there for him,” Eddie said simply. “It’s called being a friend. The Barry Allen I knew used to be pretty good at that.”

Barry looked away, realizing how much he’d been slacking off in the friend department when there was another flash of light. When it faded, they were in back at his old high school.

They were in the gym, music playing as couples danced. There were various tables around the gym. In the one closest to them, Caitlin sat down, looking concerned as she scanned the gym. She was looking for him, Barry realized with a start.

“Caitlin, right?” Caitlin and Barry looked up as Mandy sat down in the seat across from Caitlin. “You’re Barry’s plus one.”

“Yeah,” Caitlin said awkwardly.

“Where’d he go anyway?” Mandy asked curiously.

“He had to step out for a minute,” Caitlin lied.

“So, what’s the deal? Are you two together?” Mandy asked point blank.

“No, we’re just friends,” Caitlin said quickly and Mandy shot her a look. “What?”

“Barry’s not good at picking up when a girl likes him. But I know the look a girl gets when they’re into him; I spent three years watching him be totally oblivious when other girls were into him,” Mandy said and Caitlin blushed.

“Is I that obvious?” Caitlin muttered.

“Only to me. Like I said, for three years I saw other girls give him the same look I saw you give him earlier,” Mandy said as she leaned back into her chair. “So, if you like him, why haven’t you done anything about it?”

“It’s complicated,” Caitlin muttered but it sounded hollow even to her own ears.

“You like him, he’s a good guy. Doesn’t seem that complicated to me,” Mandy said pointedly. “You seem like a nice girl and Barry deserves a nice girl. And you deserve to be more than a moth drawn to the flame.”

As Mandy stood up and walked off, Barry stared at Caitlin in disbelief.

“Caitlin likes me?” Barry said dumbly. “I…had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t, because you cling to the past,” Eddie said and Barry looked at him blankly. “Your dark side isn’t your mom’s death Barry. It’s how you dwell on it. You push everyone else away; you cling to Joe and Iris, at the expense of ruining other relationships in your life. When was the last time you even thought of Mandy before today? You punish yourself and everyone around you for not being able to save your mom. That is the darkness inside you Barry. And if you are not careful, it will destroy you just like it destroyed Eobard.”

“Then how do I stop it from doing that?” Barry demanded, not liking the smile that crossed Eddie’s face.

“Well, that’s the next part of this little lesson,” Eddie said, holding up his hand and Barry was blinded by a bring light.


	3. The age of heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is transported to another time, where he sees everything that ha has always hoped for has come to pass.

When the flash of light faded, Barry appeared somewhere he didn’t recognize. It was a long, grey corridor with walls that looked like they were made of steel. Barry looked around in confusion, realizing that Eddie wasn’t with him.

“Eddie? Eddie?” Barry called out, starting to walk down the hallway. “This isn’t funny Eddie. Where on Earth are we?”

Barry walked by a window and stopped, staring. He stared for several second, trying to process what he was seeing.

“Okay, let me rephrase that. Where off Earth are we?” Barry muttered, staring out at the image of the earth in all its glory, surrounded by the stars in the vast vacuum of space.

“Barry?”

Startled, Barry whirled around at the sound of his name. Oliver Queen stood staring at him with a look of concern on his face, dressed in a suit.

“Oliver? What are you doing here?” Barry asked in concern.

“Weekly staff meeting, did you forget?” Oliver asked, eying Barry thoughtfully. “You alright?”

“I’m…not sure. I don’t understand; where are we?” Barry asked and understanding dawned in Oliver’s eyes.

“Com with me,” Oliver said simply, gesturing down the hallway.

Confused, Barry followed Oliver, wondering what was going on here. They walked silently for a minute, Barry still not understanding what was happening or where they were. Barry was about to ask Oliver what was going on when they reached the end of the hall. They walked into a room and Barry could only stare in amazement.

The room was about the size of the precinct. It had a viewing port which gave a perfect view of the vacuum of space. Several computers were around the room and Barry could see Cisco and Felicity at two of them. And several other people were making their way around the room, Barry saw Roy Harper with Thea, the pair holding hands, Sara Lance rolling her eyes at something Mick said while Ray Palmer and Nate Heywood seemed to be in some kind of debate.

“Ollie, what is this?” Barry asked lowly.

When Oliver didn’t answer, Barry looked over to see Oliver had managed to slip away while Barry was taking it all in.

“Thanks Ollie,” Barry said sarcastically. 

“Who are you talking to?”

Surprised at the sound of the voice, Barry whirled around. Caitlin was standing behind him, looking at him confused, dressed in some kind of suit dress.

“Cait, what are you doing here?” Barry asked surprised.

“Staff meeting, did you forget again? And aren’t you a little underdressed?” Caitlin asked as she looked at the clothes Barry was wearing with a critical eye. “Weren’t you the one who wanted a dress code for these meetings?”

“I-I don’t understand,” Barry said in bewilderment.

“Are you okay? Did you time travel again?” Caitlin asked as she looked truly concerned.

“No!...I don’t think so,” Barry said after a moment. “What’s today’s date?”

“January 15, 2020,” Caitlin said and Barry sighed. “You did time travel?”

“Yes, but this time, it wasn’t my fault,” Barry said defensively.

“Not here,” Caitlin said, looking at the others down on the lower level. “Last thing anyone needs to hear is that you time traveled.”

Barry only needed to think of The Legends’ reaction to learning about Flashpoint to silently acknowledge her point. So he allowed Caitlin to lead him from the room and into some kind of office. As she closed the door behind them, Barry looked around. It was a room about the size of his lab at the precinct. It had a desk with a computer on, some book shelves, everything was perfectly arranged and in place.

It was just so…Caitlin.

“So what happened, how’d you end up here?” Catlin asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“I’m not completely sure. We were at the reunion when Eddie showed up,” Barry said.

“Eddie, as in Eddie Thawne?” Caitlin interrupted and Barry nodded. “If you’re talking about your high school reunion, Eddie died over a year before that.”

“I know how it sounds, but he’s alive and in the future. He’s part of something called the Legion, I think he sent me here,” Barry said as he walked over to the desk.

He paused as he saw a picture in a frame. It was off them, he had his arm around Caitlin as someone took the picture. It was pretty clear that this wasn’t a friendly picture, judging by the kiss Barry on the head was giving Caitlin and the goofy smile she ha.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you had feelings for me?” Barry said randomly as he looked up Caitlin.

“Barry-” she started.

“Please, just answer me,” Barry said almost pleadingly and Caitlin was silently for a moment.

“Honestly, at first it was because of Ronnie. I was in no position think about anything but how much I missed him, much less that I was falling in love with one of my best friends. Then, once I realized how I felt about you…I just didn’t think you would feel the same way about me. You only had eyes for Iris, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by telling you how I felt. Maybe things would have gone back to how they were, but…I was afraid I’d you if I told you the truth. I could bear seeing you with someone else, but I couldn’t bear it if I lost you. I could just be your friend so long as I still had you in my life.”

Once Caitlin was finished, Barry silently processed what she had said. In truth, he’s not sure how he would have reacted if Caitlin had confessed. He had never considered Caitlin as anything but a friend, his best friend. In truth, she was probably the person he trusted more than anyone else, even Joe and Iris. But, as he stared at her now, it dawned on him, really dawned on him, that she was a beautiful woman who loved him and supported him in a way that no one else ever had besides Joe and his parents.

Barry was broken out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. Caitlin looked towards it before looking back at him, a stern look on her face.

“Let me do the talking. No one else can know you’re here,” Caitlin warned before walking over to the door.

She opened it and Barry had to school his face when he saw Stein.

“Am I interrupting?” Stein inquired as he saw Barry.

“No, we were just finishing up. Is there something wrong Martin?” Caitlin inquired.

“On the contrary, I think we may have reached a breakthrough on our project,” Stein said and the pair could see the excitement in his eyes. “If I could have your assistance.”

“Of course,” Caitlin said politely, glancing back at Barry. “Try and…figure out a solution to this problem. I’ll be in the lab.”

Barry nodded, playing along that he knew what she was talking about as she and Stein left, closing the door behind her. It seemed that no matter what timeline, Caitlin would always protect him. Feeling a slight breeze behind him, Barry’s hair stood on end. Turning around, his eyes widened as he saw another version of himself. This one had a shorter haircut and was dressed in a suit, like he was going to some kind of business dinner.

“Right on time,” the other Barry said with a grin.

“What?” Barry asked, coming out of his shock.

“Think it through, this is time travel. I’ve already lived through this,” the other Barry said and Barry caught on.

“When you were me. You told Oliver to lead me into that room where Caitlin would see me,” Barry said and his older counterpart nodded. “Why?”

“We don’t have time to chat. You need to get to the lab. Take a left, third door on your right,” the other Barry ordered, sounding like he was used to giving them.

“Why?” Barry asked confused.

“Stein is about to do an experiment with the FIRESTOM Matrix in an attempt to give Jax solo powers but it’s gonna go wrong. You need to save them; I’m needed back on Earth. A Meta is about to attack City Hall and the Flash is needed. Even I can’t be in two places at once,” the other Barry said.

“Wait, if you knew, why wouldn’t you stop them?” Barry asked angrily.

“You never would have experienced all this, you never would have become me,” the other Barry said, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out an extrapolator. “Caitlin and Stein need your help. Go, now.”

The other Barry then activated the Extrapolator, opening a Breach before speeding through it. As the Breach closed behind, Barry stared at it, the truth hitting him like a ton of bricks. This was what Eddie was talking about, an age of heroes. And he was apparently leader of these heroes.

Shaking his head, Barry reminded himself what he was supposed to do and sped out of the office.

In the lab, Caitlin watched with Stein and Jax as the Quantum Splicer that allowed Stein and Jax to merge was doused with orange energy. Once done, it vibrated violently as it glowed brightly.

“Is it supposed to do that?” Jax asked uneasily.

“No, it is not,” Stein said, about to suggest they run.

However, Barry sped in and, seeing situation grabbed the three and sped out. He dragged them a good foot away from the lab before there was an explosion. The entire floor seemed to rock as a smokescreen came from the lab. But, otherwise, it seemed like everything turned out alright.

“Everyone okay?” Barry asked, looking more towards Caitlin than Stein and Jax.

“We’re fine, thanks to you,” Caitlin assured him.

“It appears that the FIRESTORM Matrix requires more testing before I’m ready to retire,” Stein said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them.

“In the meantime, we’ll be happy to have you,” Caitlin told him kindly. “Jax, why don’t the two of you go tell everyone that we’re all fine.”

“Come on Grey, let’s leave these two alone and tell everyone that you tried to blow us all up” Jax said amused as he dragged the professor away.

The moment they were gone, Caitlin turned to Barry with a stern look.

“How’d you know to be here?” Caitlin demanded.

“The other me. He told me what was going to go down,” Barry explained and Caitlin nodded.

“He’s probably lived through this, makes sense,” Caitlin mused before sighing. “I hate time travel.”

“Join the club,” Barry said dryly.

Barry heard some footsteps approach and Caitlin then did something that took him completely by surprise: She grabbed him and kissed him.

Barry had kissed his fair share of women over his life. But kissing Caitlin was unlike any of those kisses; it felt like his first run: the electricity bounded through his whole body and his stomach did summersaults. Vaguely, he was aware of voices from behind him and Caitlin pulled away.

“Barry, Caitlin, you alright?” Cisco said as he approached.

“Yeah, just a little malfunction with Martin’s experiments,” Caitlin said, acting like this was just another day at Star Labs.

“Y-Yeah, everything’s fine,” Barry coughed to cover his brain melting from Caitlin’s kiss.

Cisco eyed them both, clearly sensing something was up. But, he apparently decided to let it go and shrugged.

“Well, staff meeting in twenty minutes. Don’t be late,” Cisco said before turning around and walking away.

“I’m sorry about that, but Cisco would have sensed something was up if he didn’t see us kissing after you saved me,” Caitlin apologized. “And I don’t think now was the best time to break your time travel news.”

“Probably not, Barry muttered, looking at Caitlin in a new light.

The lengths she’d gone to in order to protect him, it was more than Barry could have ever imagined anyone doing for him. And she’d done it like it just came naturally. Was this was what it felt like to have an equal partner?

Suddenly, Barry got a sense of Déjà vu. Time froze as Caitlin opened her mouth but she froze midway through a word. Knowing what was coming; Barry turned around and saw Eddie standing a few feet from him.

“So, how was your visit?” Eddie asked cheekily and Barry laughed.

“It was…enlightening,” Barry said after a moment. “I think I know why you brought me here. You wanted me to see that, even if I couldn’t save Iris from Savitar, the world would keep spinning. That I could still have a happy life.”

“That’s true, but I brought you here for another reason,” Eddie said and Barry cocked his head to the side in confusion. “I wanted you to see that your darkness comes not only from dwelling on your mother’s death, but from fearing a future where Joe and Iris aren’t there anymore.”

“So why not just tell me that, like you told me everything else?” Barry asked in confusion.

“You’ve always been stubborn, this was something you needed to see for yourself,” Eddie said and Barry silently had to acknowledge the validity of it. “You’ve always been so focused on the past and now the future that you lost sight of the present.”

There was another flash of light and Barry and Eddie were back at Central City High, staring at Caitlin as she watched Andy walk off after their talk Barry had seen earlier. 

“Don’t let yourself be burdened by past mistakes or future fears. A hero is made in the moment by what they do, not by what they might be,” Eddie told him as he held up his ring. “It was good to see you again Barry, one last time.”

“Eddie…”Barry trailed off, suddenly choked up.

“I’ll be watching. You ever need me, I’ll be there,” Eddie promised before vanishing in a flash of light.

Barry stared at the spot where Eddie had vanished before looking over at Caitlin. Making a decision, he walked over to her just as Caitlin spotted him.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Caitlin asked as he reached her.

“Long story, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Barry said. “But this is a dance last time I checked.”

“I thought you hated dancing?” Caitlin said confused and he smiled.

“I do. But it’s a reunion, what can you do if you can’t laugh at how bad we dance after a decade?” Barry joked as he offered her a hand.

Caitlin laughed, accepting his hand up. They made their way over to the dancefloor and Caitlin wrapped her arms around his neck and his hands went around her waist as they began to sway to the music. From the corner of his eye, Barry could see Mandy smiling as she sat next to a bearded blond man, winking at Barry. And as he danced with Caitlin, he just thought of how right this felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked all the Justice League Easter eggs in this chapter.
> 
> For Barry being the leader of the Earth-1 Justice League, I think initially, Oliver would take the leadership position, but I see Oliver grooming Barry for the role and, once he felt Barry was ready, he steps back and allows Barry to take the reins.


	4. Letting go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry makes an important decision regarding his relationship with Iris as he attempts to make amends for his past mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here is the final chapter. I would just like to thank everyone who has read, left kudos and reviewed this. I hope you guys enjoy the ending.

Barry’s loft

Morning

Barry was asleep in his bed when something woke him up. He blinded, not sure what had awakened him before he heard a noise from the kitchen. Using super speed, Barry got dressed and made his way out to the kitchen. However, he relaxed as he saw who it was.

“Iris,” Barry said as she looked up from where she seemed to be trying to make…something in the kitchen. “What are you um, what are you doing?”

“I felt bad for not being able to make it to the reunion with you, so I thought I’d make breakfast,” Iris said as she gestured to what Barry realized was supposed to be pancake mix. “Didn’t go well. How was the reunion?”

“Enlightening,” Barry said, thinking of Eddie and briefly considered telling Iris before deciding against it. “Listen, Iris…we need to talk.”

Iris must have seen that how serious he was by his tone, because she immediately put the wooden spoon she was holding down.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Iris asked, sensing that something was off.

“You could say that,” Barry said, knowing this was not going to be an easy conversation. “At the reunion, I ran into an old friend who put…a lot of things into perspective.”

“What are you talking about? What things?” Iris said, a pit of dread forming in her stomach.

“After my mom died, I just…I didn’t feel safe or secure about anything. I was afraid of losing you like I lost my parents,” Barry started.

“Bar, you’ll never lose me,” Iris promised and Barry smiled weakly.

“I think I already have,” Barry said and Iris looked at him in confusion. “I convinced myself that I was in love with you when I wasn’t. Iris, I love you like a sister but I felt like I needed more of a claim to feel secure. I was afraid of losing so, for as long as I can remember, I told myself a lie.”

“You-you don’t love me?” Iris stammered shocked and Barry shook his head.

“I love you, I will always love you Iris. I’m just not in love with you,” Barry said gently. “And, if you’re honest, I don’t think you’re in love with me either. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been dragging your feet when it comes to moving your stuff in.”

“What, of course I love you Barry!” Iris exclaimed.

“Then why has it been a month and the only stuff you have here is a few clothes and a toothbrush when you didn’t hesitate to move in with Eddie?” Barry asked pointedly and Iris couldn’t come up with an answer. “If you actually wanted this, wanted me, you would have moved in by now. I didn’t notice because I’ve been...preoccupied with some things. You have been dragging your feet with moving in the whole time. Some part of you knows that you’re not in love with me. Maybe you’re not ready to accept that but it’s the truth. There is nothing between us but friendship Iris. Hopefully, one day we can get back to what we used to be. Until then, it’s over.”

Barry then turned and walked back into their room, no, his room, as Iris stared after him, tears running down her cheeks.

Central City Cemetery

Late morning

Barry stood alone in the cemetery, staring down at two graves, side by side, although one was much more recent than the other.

_Nora Allen_

_May 6, 1959 – March 18, 2000_

_Loving wife and mother_

_Henry Allen_

_June 9, 1955 – May 17, 2016_

_Loving husband and devoted father_

Barry stood staring down at the graves for a moment before he sighed.

“You were right Dad. Everything I’ve done, every moment of my life has been about that night. I’ve been completely consumed by what happened to you and mom. I couldn’t let it go. I guess, in a way, it was all I had left of you two,” Barry said, staring down at Henry’s grave before his gaze shifted to Nora’s. “Since I found out the truth about why you died…I’ve never stopped blaming myself for what happened to you Mom. But I can’t hold onto that guilt and be the man this city needs, be the hero this world needs me to be. So I have to say the one thing I never could.”

Barry reached into his pocket and pulled out something. It was a ring, a wedding ring. It had been his mother’s, given to her by his father, who had gotten it from his father. A part of Barry had been hoping to give it to Iris someday.

Instead, Barry knelt down. Digging a small hole at the foot of Nora’s grave, Barry placed the ring in the hole before reapplying the dirt and grass as best he could.

“I know you’ll be with me, no matter what,” Barry said, his voice thick with emotion as he felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes. “I’ll try to make you proud, be the man you wanted me to be. Goodbye Mom…Goodbye Dad.”

Barry then stood up, staring down at the two graves, engraving them to memory. Then, Barry turned and sped off.

Star Labs

Afternoon

Barry entered the cortex, not sure what he’d find. Iris was not known for being subtle and Barry was half expecting to find Joe there, demanding answers as to what was going on.

Instead, he found Cisco alone in the cortex, frowning in concentration as his eyes bore into one of the computers.

“You trying to see if you have heat vision?” Barry joked, alerting Cisco to his presence.

“I wish. Felicity sent me this email, seeing if I had any Intel on a group called Helix. From what I can find, they are…nice a very nice group,” Cisco said as he looked at Barry. “You okay? You seem…I don’t know, different.”

“I am different,” Barry said with certainly. “I can’t really explain it right now but I had my eyes opened. I’m sorry Cisco.”

“For what?” Cisco asked in confusion.

“For Dante,” Barry said and Cisco opened his mouth to speak. “I know you forgave me for what I did, but I should have been there for you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t. I got so wrapped up in myself that I forgot that I wasn’t the only one suffering. I will never forget that again.”

“I was kind of a dick about it,” Cisco said sheepishly.

“You had reason to. Let’s just say we’re sorry and move on,” Barry said and Cisco was only too happy to agree. “Wally around?”

A little later, Barry entered the speed lab, pausing in the doorway. Wally was running the treadmill and Barry paused, taking it in. Wally got off the treadmill and Barry knew from the look on his face that he had talked to Iris.

“I take it Iris gave you some version of our breakup?” Barry said knowingly as he entered the room.

“Apparently you don’t love her?” Wally said, sounding more confused than upset.

“I love her, just not the way I should,” Barry clarified. “She doesn’t love me the way she thinks she does either. She’ll hate me for a bit, but she’ll move on, find someone who loves her the way she deserves. I can stand her hating for now because eventually, she’ll realize I’m right.”

“That’s deep,” Wally said after a moment and Barry shrugged.

“It is what is. There are a lot of people in this city who need help. I can’t help them if there’s a problem with the team. So, is this gonna be a problem with us?” Barry asked pointblank.

“No. Whatever goes on between you and Iris is none of my business. I just wanna help,” Wally said earnestly and Barry nodded.

“Good. Training starts tomorrow, seven A.M. sharp. Be ready,” Barry said before he turned and walked out.

Barry then made his way into the med bay. Caitlin was going over something when she saw him.

“Hey,” Caitlin as she put the report away.

“Hey,” Barry said and then it was silent for a moment.

“Did something happen?” Caitlin asked and Barry shook his head.

“No. I just…I wanted to thank you for coming with me yesterday. I probably would have skipped out if you hadn’t come,” Barry said gratefully.

“It was no problem, I’d do it again. And it was fun seeing what you were like when we were teenagers,” Caitlin said with a smile.

Barry laughed and Caitlin noticed the look he was giving her. He had never looked at her like that before.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Caitlin asked after a moment.

“I’m just…seeing things a lot differently now,” Barry said still with that same look on his face.

Caitlin felt butterflies in her stomach as he stared at her. She wasn’t sure what had changed with Barry between when he disappeared and reappeared during the reunion, but she decided that it wasn’t a bad thing. For the first time since Henry’s death, she saw the man who, without her noticing, had managed to capture her heart. Whatever had brought him back, Caitlin would be grateful to it for the rest of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> So, good? Bad? Tell me in the comments.


End file.
